If Puppies Could Text

April 25, 2013  |  comedy

A husband and wife bought a new puppy.  The husband worked at home during the day while the wife was off to work.  The following are text messages that the dog sent to the wife … with a little help from the husband:

Hi Mommy.  I am waiting patiently for you.  Will you take me for a walk tonight?  I miss you so much!  Can we play this weekend?  Can we can we can we?!?!?!!


Hi Mommy!  I made big poopie on my walk with Daddy this morning.  It was such a big and firm poopie you’d be so proud of me!  I wish I could have shown it to you.  I miss you and can’t wait to see you tonight at puppy class!


Hi Mommy!  It was so windy on my walk today, I just loved jumping through all the windy air!!


Hi Mommy!  Today I practiced sitting on my walk and I did so good!  I can’t wait to show you tonight how good I can do it, Mommy!  I miss you and love you.  Ruff ruff.


Hi Mommy!  I am taking a rest on my walk this morning because I asked Daddy what you and he were doing when I woke up this morning and he said to ask you!!


Hi Mommy!  Daddy and me are finally going for a walk today, I am so excited!!  Doesn’t Daddy look funny in his new sunglasses?  I made a big poopie this morning and Daddy was so proud of me.  He said it was a healthy poopie.  I can’t wait to show you when you get home.  I love you and miss you Mommy!!


Hi Mommy!  I did so good on my walk today!!  I love you and miss you.  Daddy says I was so good that I get to wear a pretty bow and we get to go for a drive this afternoon!!!!


Hi Mommy!  I did real good on my walk today.  Daddy even said I had good poopie.  I am so proud!  But I am so nervous about tonight.  I really want to graduate from puppie school and be a good doggie for Mommy and Daddy!


Hi Mommy!  Daddy says I have to see the doctor today beacuse of the scrabbies so we took a long walk down to see him.  I am a little nervous but Daddy says everything is going to be okay.  I miss you and love you!  Daddy says you get to play with me all night tonight and I am so excited!  I can’t wait for you to get home.  See you soon, Mommy!!


Hi Mommy!  I’m sooOOOoooo hungry!!!!!!!


Hi Mommy!  I am trying to be very focused on my walk today so I can’t chat for long.  See you tonight!!


Hi Mommy!  I’m mad!!  Daddy says I have to go poopie but I don’t want to!!!  I just want to play with my ball.  Do I have to listen to Daddy?  I don’t want to poo!!!  I just don’t want to!


Hi Mommy!  Look at how fast Ican run!  It’s so fast that the road is all blurry!!  Isn’t that neat, Mommy?  Daddy says I run soOOOoooo fast that he can barely keep up with me.  I hope you come home soon so I can show you how fast I run, Mommy!


Hi Mommy!  My poopie was soft today and Daddy got it all over his hands when he tried to clean it up.  I am so sorry, will you please help me get better, Mommy?


Hi Mommy!  I am still a little scratchy but Daddy says my poopie looks really good!  I’m so proud!!  I miss you and love you and can’t wait for you to play with me tonight.  Will you pthrow a ball for me, Mommy, pretty please?!


Look Mommy!  I can stay for a really long time, just like Daddy said to!  Are you proud of me, Mommy?  My walk today was so exausting.  Daddy says it’s good for car dealer ask wholer health.  I don’t know what that means but I sure am tired!


Hi Mommy!  Daddy and I walked in the nice warm sun today and made lots of vitamin D.  Daddy said you’d be so proud of me, Mommy!  Are you?  Are you so proud of me?


Mommy!  I saw you and Daddy mad at each other last night.  Don’t worry, I can walk myself now so we don’t need Daddy anymore!